It’s been a long time without a job; let’s say about three years or more. For the past two years or so, I have survived thanks to the help of my parents (who are retired) and to the help of kind and nice people and friends who are generous enough to make my life a little better.
Working on my own has been always a good option either to add up to the regular income or to make a living. But for some reason, it’s not working now and it did not work for two years, not enough.
When I was younger I raised my three children on my own, as a single mother, even though I was and I am divorced. Fifty percent of the salary was to pay a maid, a nanny and/or the nursery so there was never a chance to save for the future or for buying a house or a car.
Right now I am 50, I live in a small town where there used to be a lot of work but things have changed drastically in the last 5 years. There are not many chances to make money unless you are young and pay back with sexual favors or unless you join the governing political party.
I’ve re-invented myself many times, so I can teach English, I can translate or interpret, I can cook, I can do massage or I can knit, among other things. And if you read my CV you will realize my skills can fill a page. I have this feeling I am in the wrong place at the wrong time so I started working harder with myself to change that.
Early in my late twenties I attended groups from Lucis Trust where we read all the books by Alice Bailey and we meditated with the Great Invocation. I was seeking and the reading and triangle work was good for me at that time. I never stopped seeking. I take from every discipline, religion or practice, what is good for me, what it resonates to me.
So, we can say, I have an interesting salad inside me which helps me become a better person and do good to others. You can name whatever you want: kundalini yoga, reiki, reflexology, Bach flowers, therapy with music, meditation, prayers, retreats, moving meditation, chakra dance, Tai-Chi, tapping, affirmations, law of attraction, Abraham teachings, Light sounds, Source healing and many other I cannot remember now. I have tried all of them and I still practice some of them.
You can easily manage whatever you choose when you have a home, a comfortable life, a regular income, may be a car, a group of friends, a tribe, a guiding ancestor or sensei.
One day, you find yourself in a small town where people do not practice any of these things I mentioned; there are no groups, no tribes, no sensei, and no supporting group at all. There are only a couple of very conservative churches which still teach people that we come to suffer and live in poverty and if you are a divorced woman you are indeed a sinner. In this new situation, you have no job, and your regular income does not pay 50% of the rent of a very small place to live (where it is hard to work on your own), therefore, if you need medicines for your chronic diseases or if you want to have a balanced diet to live a healthy life, then you either depend upon the help of others (charity) or you just pile up debts, bills and loans. (There are months when the saving energy mode is the only option: you just sleep or so that you don’t waste energy, or you eat the days when you have work to do.)
When you are all alone and far from cities and places where you could find better alternatives, you use internet, not only to advertise your work but to read, learn and keep it going. As I said, I am still a seeker.
There is a great offer of books, videos, seminars, on line courses, sessions, coaching and so on (even cruises and retreats in very fancy places). They all show you a tiny part of what you could achieve if you bought their product. They promise you will discover your inner power and you will reconnect to the source of abundance and light. For this, you need money, a lot of money, to pay a good internet service, to pay the courses, books or whatever you choose, and nobody offers the miracle for free.
It sounds cruel, but if you are almost homeless, you don’t have a dime, you eat properly once or twice a week, you don’t have money to pay your bills and you never know when you will eat or how long you will sleep under a roof, then you are screwed because you do not have access to any miracle or hidden secret which could help improve your life.
And when it is not working, people generally say, you are not trying hard enough, you are not doing it right, you don’t believe it, you don’t have a good vibe, and you are focusing on your lack and not on your dreams.
Hence, my Virgo brain has a question: I wonder, if somebody has a product (book, video, seminar, name it) which is really helpful and it really works and it can change the way you vibrate, if this somebody is sure to have the hidden secret which nobody knows; then, why don’t you share it for free. If you are sure it works, you share it for free, you help people who cannot get out of the hole by themselves and then, they will pay you back, more than the price of your book: I would send you a beautiful surprising gift to say thank you for your help.
It is important to bear in mind that there are different circumstances. God is only one, but we all look at him in different ways, that’s why there are so many religions. The source is only one, but some may call it the universe, others may call it Holy Spirit and others may just call it the masters. The thing is, we are all different, we are unique and the circumstances we have gone through have shaped us, they have shaped our subconscious and our conscious mind too. Going further, men and women do not behave or think alike, our brains work differently, our hormones work differently, and that’s why ancient cultures had different rituals for men and women. So, what it works for you, may not work for me. If you are a man, you are not aware of the energies that go through a woman who can be a mother. If you are someone who has a home and a car, you can talk from a different point of view, and it is easier to change your vibe if there are certain things that are working well in your life.
Here is my promise: if I manage to get out of this hole, if I can finally manifest the life I dream, if I can have a home and abundance in my life, I will share my experience. It might be a book a website or a video. People who are desperate or in need will have free access to it, and if it works for them they can pay back as they feel it, from their heart. Judy Satory uses an interesting word: koha, an energy exchange from the heart.
Imagine, how wonderful the world could be if we all shared our gifts trusting that the universe and the people being helped would give us something in exchange so that we could all have abundant lives.
Blessings and thank you for reading
March 19th 2015